


The Academy Rag: Post Iconian War Edition

by Archangel_Beth



Category: Star Trek Online
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-25
Updated: 2015-09-25
Packaged: 2018-04-23 07:04:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4867655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Archangel_Beth/pseuds/Archangel_Beth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Starfleet Academy has a student-run newspaper. It also has a student-run scandal rag, which is concerned only with the most salacious gossip...</p><p>(Set the day after the "Midnight" Episode in the Iconian War arc.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Academy Rag: Post Iconian War Edition

* * *

**The Academy Rag**

_All the Starfleet gossip it's not quite libel to print! ___

In the aftermath of the Iconian assault on Earth and the last minute save by a brave officer whose identity we cannot yet determine (suspect quantum timeline effects!), the brave investigators and student reporters at **The Academy Rag** have been seeking out the _real_ news that so-called "reputable" sources won't tell you: who's blowing off steam with who!

In our top story, having determined the strongest contender for the title of "Leader of the (remnants of the) Romulan Star Empire" _is_ the daughter of a Starfleet officer (albeit from an alternate timeline) -- and therefore firmly within the **Rag** 's mandate for Starfleet gossip! -- our best reporter greased palms and sweet-talked his way to the only hotel bar that serves real Klingon bloodwine, to determine if Captain Kagran was keeping an eye on the so-called Empress, or keeping an _eye_ on her, if you know what we mean. (And if you're a regular reader, you know what we mean!)

Well, our brave investigator got absolute paydirt, managing to close in on the suspects themselves! Sadly, no juicy boasting about conquests was forthcoming -- the alleged Empress merely snarled, "Nothing. Happened." And when the **Rag** 's reporter asked the Klingon? The quote obtained: "There is no honor in contradicting a woman in such matters."

_(Ed. Correction: After a visit from one of Captain Kagran's staff, we are informed that the full quote is, and should be rendered as, "There is no honor in contradicting a woman in such matters. Either you are lying, which is dishonor, or you failed to acquit yourself honorably in her eyes, and should graciously accept what mercy she offers." **The Academy Rag** appreciates the officer's patience and lack of brandished weaponry.)_

Moving on to more exotic matters (though we gotta admit, that Star Empire cape is pretty flashy), our own Captain Shon has been linked to a threesome! Rumors placed the flagship captains of the three major powers of the Alliance in the same bar, running up quite the tab. And when the bar closed, they were seen wandering off together!

Alas, once again we are foiled by the reluctance of commissioned officers to kiss and tell. According to Captain Shon, "It's a little blurry after the fifth round -- or was it the seventh? Anyway, I don't think anything actually happened, because I still have both antennae. And I'm sure Captain Koren bites."

We sent out queries to the other two captains, but alas, diplomatic relations don't extend to dishing the dirt. Captain Koren laughed in our reporter's face, and we are informed that Commander Jarok is not taking any questions until her headache has faded. (That said, Lt. Selan has a pretty nice accent, according to the investigator who talked to him. Pity about the whole Borg thing, or we might ~~start~~ look into rumors of "diplomatic relations" between certain Republic citizens and Starfleet!)

Seeking easier targets, one of the **Rag** 's investigators managed to contact Vishka -- an Orion involved with the Klingon Empire's side of things during the final Iconian battle. Though we weren't able to get her rank, we did get an unbelievably detailed (and _hot_!) description of a party involving an entire Federation boarding party squad, three Fed pilots, a couple of our Republic allies, and a very inventive Klingon engineer. Unfortunately, upon further research, it seems likely that nothing of the sort happened, as none of the names match existing squads. But flip to page 10 for the story! Fiction or fact, it'll sizzle your screen!

Moving down the line to pure Starfleet liaisons, turn to page 2 for full-color (and some 3-D!) photos of Captains Caught Kissing. There's some steamy snogging that'll fog your windows! And on page 3, the list of unattached officers who look like they could use a friend, with accompanying images. Hug an officer today and help **The Academy Rag** fill our pages with great gossip!

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> ...after running the "Midnight" episode way too many times, the constant snarking that Sela and Kagran are doing at each other has become cute, and I think I now one-night-stand ship them.  >_<


End file.
